Dandelions the Color Purple

I think it was the wrong question to answer, last two entries, about what I think about dandelions. What I think’s not too important. I can see the color purple and think of royalty or grapes or bruises or jimi hendrix’s purple haze. But is that the best/goodest (because I can) thing purple can make me think of? If I’m wondering if God’s kind of throwing dandelions my way, I should probably ask what he wants me thinking.

I finished reading the Color Purple today, after buying it for 25 cents at the bookstore down the street. I’d read it once before, but I didn’t remember a lot about it. There’s a lot that I learned from it and a lot I appreciate and agree with and a fair bit I appreciate but disagree with. I like how the characters talk about purple, and just creation in general, as God’s way of catching your attention. And I like this quote:

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.

God and his plans and the universe and the color purple all kind of get along without me well enough. That's not an excuse; it’s good if I go with them and learn from it all, and help to keep the color around. But I don’t want to forget that it wasn’t me who made colors or dandelions in the first place, and it’s not me his plans are made for. Oddly enough, this echoes my response to a friend who asked me to unpack what I said last entry about God’s plans and how we might make them sort of not work out for ourselves. Basically: so what? That attitude doesn’t work towards others, but it works towards myself well enough when I get too self-centered.

So I’m rethinking dandelions, but I’m not in a hurry to get an answer. And as far as The Color Purple goes, I was glad to read the book again. I like being brought out of myself to think about being white or black from the perspective of a black person (and I like/hate trying to talk about that without sounding ignorant). I love the format as letters to God, and the faith involved in that there’s no letters coming back, and I identify with the change in how to understand God. I don’t go as far as Celie in calling God an it that’s just everything. I can’t seem to find anyone or any group or any book where I can just whole-heartedly agree with everything. I’m always a little to this or a little too that to fit in, although the good and bad of it is I can still belong, I think, and definitely still love.

Anyways. I spent my weekend keeping busy at the restaurant. After today I really began to feel comfortable and feel like I had made friends and belonged, and maybe even fit in a little.
Maybe it’s that today I got to wear the Avenida Restaurant shirt. Maybe it was the heaps of food we were given to eat after the shift. Maybe it was just time. All I know is it’s nice. And my feet are very relieved, especially after mistakenly thinking I had to wear heels the first night: six hours standing, walking up/down stairs in heels led me to walk the block home in stocking feet.

I also played guitar and posted a new youtube video (cover of Do you Only Love the Ones that Look Like You! <3). I listened to Damien Rice for the first time. And I skyped with my daddy. We were silly. And I hung out with my roommate and it was good. This is our dining room table, home to many happy, hungry tummies. And that's my roommate, Christy. Say hi, Christy! Oh, and I didn’t mention it, but Monday night I got to babysit. And right now I’m skyping with my mom. And I received funny texts from my brother. Aww. Yay, life.