routine

My life feels really routine. Which is funny, because it’s not: there’s not a whole lot that’s the same every day or week, and it’s not routine/boring, either. But it is beginning to feel more familiar, and I’m really grateful for that. For instance:
• Walking down Washington lane’s mix of row houses and historic mansions to my internship. I’ve only done this route this week (the singing man Chad asked me if I wanted candy, and it was weird, so I avoid him now), but I like.
• Waiting for the bus & counting the birds in the bush next to me as they sing.
• Tuesday pm pomplamoose livecast – this will be my second time! Good night song!
• Wednesday night church cell group, and Roula’s pizza before it (once).
• Oatmeal with peanut butter for breakfast - every day except for one.
• Toasting pb and j sandwiches. Because the bread is cold.
• Eating breakfast in bed. Because I’m cold.
• Eating brunch for free at work after my Sunday shift – tasty tasty tasty tasty.
• Coming home after evening shifts with more energy than I had going into it.
• Taking showers and feeling like I’m in a cocoon.
• Thursday day-off visits to the Crooked Bookstore, while the washer/dryer go.

There was something new today though, that I hope becomes routine. Three red-breasted robins. Spring, are you coming? I walked off the sidewalk to go around one and not disturb it. Hopefully, none of the little kitty-cat friends I’ve made get hungry.

This Lent thing is better and worse than I thought it’d be. I miss facebook, but I know I’ll use it better because of this – I miss the ability to easily message friends and stay in contact. I don’t miss the wasting of my time. I do miss tv shows. A lot. But I’m using that time to build new routines. Playing guitar near daily. Reading and writing, too. Going to sleep when I’m tired. Reading my bible by playing guitar along with it. I’ve been sitting on Matthew 3 and John’s “brood of vipers!” talk to the Pharisees today.

I’ve been noticing other people’s routines, too. I want to have them:
• Remembrance. Over lent, my church is doing weekly communion.
• Generosity. Christy shares lots of her food with me. Liz, my cell group leader, has given me a couple of rides to church. Danielle, my internship supervisor, never hesitates to compliment or note good work. Edgar and Kim, who run Avenida, feed you every shift, and for Sunday brunch go all-out. Smorgasborg. Overwhelming. And then Edgar tells you to take more home.
• Hard work. Most of my co-workers have at least one other job. Danielle works at BuildaBridge as the only FT paid staff (a lot of work!), and then has a dance instructor position, and THEN works at a restaurant. And she still has a bf.

I want to practice these habits till they’re just routine for me. I think moving makes you lose a lot of your old routines, and it throws you off. Even simple ones. That’s part of why I’ve been so anxious at my job (that and I don’t want to lose it). Anxiety’s very difficult to overcome. I really sympathize now with the movie character girl in the new city working at a restaurant. Heh. But apparently Edgar and Kim like me: a server told me they were planning to train me in all the different work, including server. Cool…gulp. Danielle likes me, too. I figured out how to use Adobe Illustrator to fix a flyer after a day of failure, since the marketing intern is on spring break. We were joking afterwards, and I said “yay, I’m going to be marketable!” And she quite nicely said I already was.

Of course, she’s way more “marketable” than me, but she has to have two other jobs. I’m realizing how much hard work is necessary, to do what you want with your life, help people. My head’s still sorting out Uncle Tom’s Cabin, and that book has taught me a lot about hard work and faith. It’s too bad the Uncle Tom character seems to be misunderstood. He’s impressive. And there’s quakers, too, in the book, and of course they’re big in Pennsylvania. Talk about hard work to help people. The book highlights their role in the underground railroad, the risks run and the work done. My bus stops right in front of a historic underground railroad stop. It made me pause to wonder today. I may visit Thursday. In the meantime, I tried to read Aunt Phillis’ Cabin (southern anti-abolitionist response to Uncle Tom’s Cabin), but it made me feel physically ill.

I want…to have routines that’ll make people feel good, not ill. There’s no underground railroad right now, though there’s an underground human trafficking trade. People are hungry for change, but they’re also just hungry. I can’t imagine. Last Wednesday I didn’t have money to buy Roula’s pizza before cell, so I didn’t eat dinner. I figured I’d just rely on the cell’s generosity, even if I did feel a little foolish eating so many of their little muffins. But it’s weird. I was so hungry, even though I’d eaten twice that day already. Everyday I feel hungry, though I eat a lot. I joked to Christy: “If I didn’t know myself better, I’d think I was pregnant, I’m so hungry.” Needless to say, I’m not pregnant, and I am eating well. But this amusing hunger of mine has made the video below about homeless kids all the less amusing. I hope you can watch it all, but at least see 4-7:20.



“Homeless kids tip-toe in a world of insecurity, hoping to be invisible.”
If you watch the rest, you will see.
It makes me grateful to be interning at BuildaBridge, and want to be a part of their programs within homeless shelters:



I mentioned that moving seems to make people lose a lot of routines. How much more homelessness must do this, hurts to think about. Same thing with refugees, whom BuildaBridge also does some work with. Art really seems…in my own life it has helped. The routine of it, the expression of it, the security of it. The city hall exhibit I’ve been helping with at BuildaBridge will make homeless kids’ art visible, and so it will make them visible, also. This is what I’m thinking about.

But now I’m late for the pomplamoose webcast. So much for routine ;)
and they're talking about nuclear power plants. it's hard to be serious.
now they're talking about nuclear power pants. it's really hard to be serious.
and now they're singing jack's original, "the way it was before" and asking if their music's getting too dark. well, actually they asked if their shit was getting dark. tee hee. :) as long as their routine and life routines make space for addressing light and dark times/experiences, i like. if buildabridge's art programs only let the kids focus on happy, and avoided dealing with the sad, it'd be useless. but if it didn't teach how to see the good in the bad, it'd be useless. So.